Lola's World

Friday, August 26, 2005

When 'friends' hurt you

It is horrible when people who are supposed to be your friends hurt you.

Actually, two things are the worst; One is when the friend actually set out to hurt you on purpose (pre-meditated hurt) and the other is when no-matter what you do for them, how much time you spend on them, they decide to treat you badly - i.e. they are inconsiderate, take alot but give very little, or are just plain rude.

We have all been there haven't we? You do your best for that person, you help them, you listen to their problems, you are there for them when they need you - and how do they chose to express their gratitude and honour your friendship? Well, they say nasty things to you, ignore all you did for them, are never there when YOU need to talk about your problems and quite honestly behave like absolute tw**s!

This is not friendship.

52 Comments:

  • At June 10, 2006 2:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yeah - I can identify with your comments on "friends" - where ar mine when I need them? I was there for them,after all.I even helped one through a messy marital breakup,when he was talking suicide,and then after a couple of months of sucking my goodwill dry, he won't return my emails or sms,breaks off all communication.Now I have troubles of my own, no-one around to talk to.Of course they all surface again around their birthdays as I give very thoughtful presents - well, that may stop....

     
  • At July 05, 2006 9:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I can definetly relate to your blog on how friends hurt. It's so true. You do all you can for your friends and then they turn their backs on you. Today was a very crappy day. I decided to confront a trusted friend who had dissed my entire familly, and blown off my party without even calling to say she wasn't coming any more. She denied everything saying it was all just a joke. Well...I'm not laughing.And then my second friend, who i've known for 11 yrs., backstabs me by confiding in someone she's known for a week on MSN, telling them every bad quality, everything I am insecure about, and using it to describe me, my personality. I found out what she said. But she denied the whole thing. Even though I have proof, the MSN conversation. Back stabbers, liers, phonies, everywhere I turn. Then I got in a huge fight with my parents. And to top it off I got body checked and a ball in the gut during my soccer game.I don't think my heart can take much more.

     
  • At November 08, 2006 5:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I also understand. I just helped a good friend through a break up and today she told me I was a rude and inconsiderate person and emailed me a list of all the things wrong with me. She listed everything from speaking up to the fact I thought her couch was hard. I did not see it coming and am still confused as to why this happened. I opened my home to this person and she completely blows me off. What a friend!!!

     
  • At December 15, 2006 9:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I believe that you never know people in life, even when you think you do. my frined of over 20 years really hurt me. after not speaking to me for a few months I confronted her. It turns out she thinks I intentionally did not pay half the price of hotel rate when we shared a room during an outing for her son's birthday! In her world I am a liar and a thief. That is so scary. That hit me like whoa! I had no intention on cheating her out of any money. and the way she talked to me! Like I was nothing. Just dismissed me. Life comes at you fast.

     
  • At April 17, 2007 10:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Air signs seem to really really hurt their friends.

     
  • At May 18, 2007 11:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is so true, my daughter is expecting, a so called friend talked her boy friend into pressing that she have a amnio, just to make sure it is his. Told my daughter to do it, there weren't that much of a risk to the baby. She then called my daughters doctors office and tried to get information about her, which of course they could not give. She would call my daughter at work and keep her upset, it got to the point that my daughter just moved out and went back home to get away from them all. Now remember, this was one of her best friends! More like a she devil!

     
  • At May 27, 2007 3:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I had a Friend of 20 Years, Who had a Boyfirnd who was a Drunk Loser. We were all Out one Day and she got pissed at Him, and Left Him there ( she took a cab). Well I Had driven all of us to this Particular event to see a Friend Of mine play in a Band. So I was staying to see her. So at end Of evening, of course this boyfriend tagged along with me to my car, and wanted a ride Home. No Problem. My Friend called me the next day, accused me of sleeping with Her boyfriend, and said i Took Him to My House, Dressed In lingerie, etc.. I said WHAT??? Where did You hear That? Thats not true! ( and it wasnt I HATED this GUY!!) She then admitted she Made it up, was just "Trying to see if Id admit it". NOW WHY WOULD I ? It was a LIE! DAMN! So even Though I did Nothing, Never touched Him, Never even Liked Him, she doesnt want to speak to Me anymore, Becuase she is not "SURE I did Not do something.". I Have never touched any of her men, ever, never gave her any cause to believe I would, and she has Known me 20 Years. She Said .. Im not speaking to You".. and hasnt since. The honest Truth? I did NOTHING, NOTHING NOTHING. I even swore to her on My Mothers Grave.. and asked her why she thought so. She Just said "I dont Know". She Projected her Insecurity Unto Me, and guess what? She is Still with the Drunk ( I Heard) and hasnt spoken to me in three Years!
    All my other friends tease Me.. about the Whole thing.. and affectionately call Me the Man chasing Booze Hound.. as a Joke, But it Hurt Me Like hell to lose a Friend, For NOTHING! Its Like Outta my control. When Friends ACT OUT and argue with A Long time Friend, TRUE FRIENDS WORK It Out. Everyone Tells Me , she never was My True Friend...becuase True Friends dont Say cruel Mean things and Yell at their friends. So I Guess I didnt really Lose anything. But still HURTS... to this day.

     
  • At August 02, 2007 1:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Look I feel everyone on here about friends ~
    But look I must still have alot to learn I been hurt over and over I need to look at me serious and its hard cause I care for people-My Childhood friend hated me because I became gay-my junior highschool friend she was shallow she didnt know how to communicate she went college like me she was all about her and My Gay so called friends in southern California very shallow place - took and took didnt want I have spent so many hours to give- Dont get feelings ever involved your screwed look Be your own best friend no matter what that is the bes thing live for you live well take care of what you need to do a screw others those who are in your corner few trust even family can be a bunch of nuts -LIVE WELL take care of your health mind money and when ou LIVE WELL you get even and make yourself feel great!!! I have spent more time worried about others they wouldnt care if you died so just move on I am upset as I type this because I feel wounded still and I am healing years of people hurting me but I am slowly getting strongger I gave to much and I am learning some new lessons not sure yet but things are going to change Look for Quality not quanity better be alone in good company than with bad-Mr J-

     
  • At November 08, 2007 1:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    .

     
  • At November 17, 2007 8:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i know this isn't right, but another friend ("Sara")and i talked about another "friend" ("nicole") and how we shouldn't be wasting time humoring her and pretending we still cared. "nicole" was not maturing at all, and she was always backstabbing me, sending all my other friends fake emails about me, but tagging along everywhere, and then being rude all the time. so "sara" and i decided to just slowly fade off, so the initial shock would not be so hard on the not yet matured "nicole". only the next day i was chatting with "nicole" on the computer - she caught me checking my email- and she hinted that "sara" was at her house for coffee. i was shocked and asked for a clarification. "nicole" kept on writing, "she's 'NOT' at my house..." and soon it was clear that "sara" really was. then "sara" started typing and i was sure it really was her. after our disscussion on how the "nicole" wasn't a good friend at all, i would never have thought "sara" wouldve hung out with "nicole" so much. and "nicole" was obviously proud she had gotten "sara" to go over. it was extremely hurtful and i couldn't believe it. i felt left out and backstabbed, especially since i had been the one who was easier on "nicole". it is now clear that neither of them can be true friends. this situation may seem silly, but i know many similar things have happened to all the people who have had friends that turned out to be idiots.

     
  • At March 01, 2008 3:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yes I can relate to this too. An office friend of mine who is a "nice" girl over all to every one and is liked by every one - to me - is now a wolf in sheep skin. She is ver Jelous about others. Last year when i told that my husband and i are going on a trip to a particular hotel she at once said "That hotel brings bad luck for couples" and then immediately said "its OK its OK. forget what i said". I obvoiusly was upset so didnt go. Then last week we were discussing how we met our husbands and i was happily telling her that i immedialtely loved my husbands voice over the phone even before i saw him and she just got GREEN again and immediately told me "You know . its best to decide on people when you see them and not when you speak to them over the phone" - smiling. She is SUCH a False Jelous woman. like she wants to spoil my happy moments and upset me. She was even grinning said "i'm sure you found the right person but i have heard bla.. bla ". What's her problem. I think she is a real LOSER.

     
  • At March 21, 2008 10:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i guess its part of growing and learning. a couple of months ago i gave my friend $1500 for an appartment we were going to move into. it fell through, and i havent seen a dime of that money since. so i called her for a week straight leaving nice messages. nothing. finnaly i hear from her, and you know what she told me? she told me that her trip to LA (which she just got back from) cost her a lot of money and she didnt even get to go shopping . . .BOOO F*&^ HOO. well according to other friends she went shopping and then some. a $500 Gucci dress, a $600 coach bag (and please coach is so out), $350 shoes plus many night out in LA top places.(facebook pics confirmed all this) And as if that wasnt enough she told me that she doesnt plan on getting a job (she had one when this started), and that shes going to start a makeup company!!! yeah . . i was like "hello?!! that cost money too, you airhead!" shes so snobby and fake. she pretends shes a hard and strong woman but her ego and self esteem are ruled by who makes her clothes. i mean her fake-ness is out of control. one day shes signing up to help orphans and right after that shes laughing at people on the streets because their cloths are "so last season". i mean i cant believe i was friends with her for so long. we're nothing alike. she makes me sick, as i write this im queezy. i hope she learns the hard way that karmas a B__ch, and its coming back around!

     
  • At April 10, 2008 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    yeea my girlfriend whom i love so much has the same problem with one of her bestfriends they have been fighting a lot and its gotten to the point where they always fight and eventually they just stopped talking to eachother her best friend was also very inconsiderate and very selfish to her when they finnished there friend ship too she sayed things like "i feel nothing for you" "i dont feel bad for writing this" i dont need you" "im fine without you" blah blah ya but anyways my girlfriend has been getting very hurt by this and im a typical guy i can listen but i dont know what to say i dont have much comforting words can someone PLEASE give me some advice to help my love out? im lost here

     
  • At June 09, 2008 11:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I gave a friend 5 tickets worth $100 for a concert my son was going to. A week before the concert, I reminded her of the date. I told her where it was, how to get there and that if her husband could not come she could bring a mutual friend with her kids. The concert came and went and my friend and her family did not show up. My 6 year old was very disappointed. So was I. The next day I saw her husband and asked where they were? He said at home. A day later i asked my friend and she said they were out and that she forgot about the concert. I said that I did not force her to come but the tickets cost me money. She said don't give me any more tickets. I am so, so upset..... but buggered up. This womans son is my son's best friend but I really do not want anything to do with them anymore. I just don't understand her behavior. People are fickle eh.

     
  • At June 29, 2008 8:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My friend of almost 10 years just yelled into my face that she never cared about me. I am hurt.I have been there for her in every way i looked at her like a sister and the whole friendship just went down the drain in a day. I knew she was selfish but i tried to look past the fact that i give more than i got back. I feel horrible but i will get over it.

     
  • At July 13, 2008 7:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I seem to be the type of friend who does everything for everyone, but then gets stepped on and pushed aside like a dirty old rug. I had a friend of thirty years, we knew each other since kindergarten. About five years ago, she and her husband went through a difficult time. She's very conservative and very private, so I knew little about what had happened. I was still the same old me, calling her, giving her kids birthday and christmas presents, bringing over food, doing nice things for her. One day, I left her a message on her answering machine and she never called me back. I continued to leave her messages, emails, called her mother even. NO responses. It's been five years. In the beginning, I couldn't understand what I had done. I still don't. But it's left me sad and always questioning my friendships with others.

    I have another friend of 20 years. We were the best of friends in high school. Again, I did everything for her as well. I used to treat her like a sister, bring her places, give her rides....I went out of my way for her and I was always extremely forgiving. She was always disappointing me in some way or another. What I learned was that our 'idea' of friendship was totally different. That her priorities weren't the quality of friendships, but more materialistic views; studies and work. Even her family came second to that and I was at the end of that list. As time went on, she married, had children, while I was still looking for my own life to begin. Our paths shifted, our lives were different, but we still remained friends. I'm a very sensitive person and I believe that you should treat others kindly and with respect; even if things do change. There have been times where we've made plans and then the day arrives and she doesn't show up or call. When confronted about it, she simply says and with no remorse, that she forgot about it. She has no idea how much that hurts to hear. After all I've done for her, I'm simply forgotten. It pulls at your gut, makes your heart hurt and all I feel is pain on how I'm being treated by my so called friends.

     
  • At July 30, 2008 3:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    my best friends died in the hoposel and made my crying and upset that hurt me really dab and baking my heart

     
  • At September 29, 2008 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    my best friend shouting at me in ST Joseph' Training center and I was really upset or crying

     
  • At September 29, 2008 11:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    my best friend shouting at me in st Joseph's Training center and I was really upset she really hurt me and that Make me crying

     
  • At October 30, 2008 7:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well I myself can kinda relate to you. but this is the stupidest thing i EVER heard. my friend got mad at me for havin feelins for a guy that she never MET just heard about him from me. cause she saw his pic and wanted to meet him. i mean how f****in stupid is that. i knew him first yea i have a boyfriend but i still like this other guy. she just got hurt for one of our other friends messin w/ her ex. thats kinda how i feel like she is trying to do to me. i have always tried to help her out ive never done anything to her nothin ever at all!!! this is not the only time she liked a guy i did and guess wat she ALWAYS got the guy. how wrong is that???

     
  • At December 17, 2008 2:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Where do i start?, ya'll are not alone, can i vent here??? lol

    Ex BFF #1: Doesn't show up to sons bday party with her daughter because i refused to have her nasty friend come,,,petty and selfish, takes it out on the children. Ex BFF #2: My summer friend is wonderfull to the girls group all summer, then winter hits and sayonara!!!!, the funs over, never returns calls, im's, emails....she has a more interesting set of friends to use now......
    Am i surrounded by vultures, that stab you in the back every divine chance they get, am i a vending machine for giving and giving to only get kicked for change back? . I am sure we have once said.....NO MORE MR. NICE GUY, I AM GOING TO STOP BEING A PUNK TODAY!!!
    Someday's i wish i could just not care, i wish i could stop being so nice, i am not perfect in a longshot but i could sure use some TLC back sometimes from these backstabbing leaches......i look in all the wrong places for friends sometimes..........enough is enough!, thats it, i have truly had it!!!! you get to a point where trying to have BFF's are sometimes more trouble than they are worth......

     
  • At December 21, 2008 10:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am male and just turned 40.

    Since my school days I have been tormented by my sexuality and have had many bouts of deep depressions. I cannot accept myself.

    I never did let it show and kept myself to myself and became increasingly introverted. I left school having no real friends.

    Then it was in to work and I kept people at bay. I was very quiet and shy - could not let people in. I had work friends bit thats all - one always talked about my brick wall.

    Then about 10 years ago when I was about 30, some new staff came and I got to train up some 'kids' about 10 years younger. One was this very straight, very loud and popular guy. Really sporty, popular with girls etc....

    Strangely, we became good mates and even started going out in groups - for a couple of years we had great times.

    Around this time we had a huge arguement and to keep his friendship I admitted I was gay. I was in floods of tears, it was the middle of the night and I was alone. Luckily I had my female work friend, I called her and jumped in a taxi to fetch me. We sat at her place until the sun rose.

    I have never told anyone else about my sexuality and they have respected my trust.

    My straight mate was great - accepted me and we continued to be mates. I told him everything - my suicidal thoughts when i was younger - everything.

    We played sports, went on trips and even had holidays together.

    We both left work but still meet up with everyone.

    Then this month - after 10 years of friendship - we went on a work reunion and he greeted me as "faggot". All night he called me fagott, gay man, gay bastard etc... It hurt me so much.

    he'd call me stuff when just us - but never in public. For him to do so in front of people I'd worked with for 15 years was too much for me. It's sent me in to the dark days again. I'm so hurt

    That night i told him to F**K *FF and that I didn't want to know him anymore.

    I'm still hurt but miss him all the same. he was a good friend until then.

    I even text him to apologise for what I'd said!! Now I hear nothing from him.

     
  • At February 13, 2009 9:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What is a good friend?? a good friend is often that turned out not what you think she is, she can acts so sweet and nice to others, but because she knows you treat her as a real friend so that she could be so opposite on you!! my so call good friend (or only myself think she is my good friend) would ignore me for weeks for somethings which I don't know what I done wrong!! called her, she wouldn't answer the call, sms also no reply, and she would avoid going to places at the time which she knows I would be there.....but all at a sudden she would talks back to me like the good old days!! sometimes she would make bad comments on me infront of others think that is very funny, in a way she knows what will hurts me, and she just do that to hurt me.
    I don't know by doing all those things to me do prove anything to her?? maybe to her it would prove she is better!! I been trying to ignore and forgive, but now think I should remove this friendship, as it is giving me emotional problems!!

     
  • At February 16, 2009 2:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hi..
    I realy think that my best & only friend keep hurting me. I just dont know what to do!!
    I love her & I need her to be around me I dont have other friends.. but.. I cant keep going and doing this..
    Im tired of this relationship.. I

     
  • At March 11, 2009 2:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    trying having my mans friend and his girl move into our house . take over our lives . but to top it all off she makes up shit and starts a fight between me and my guy . i want her out of this house before she gets hurt . i'm not living with her for 14 months . while her man is deployed. she is working and she can go get herself a damn apt .

     
  • At June 01, 2009 3:51 AM, Anonymous sta said…

    ...I totally aggre with you!!
    it's just like these songs:
    "Let me be myself-3 doors down"
    and
    "Never too late-three days grace"






    .........they are hirting me SSoooo mych........IT"S NOT FAIR!

     
  • At July 29, 2009 1:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It is about time we take action on so called friends...tell them straight"bug off - you are not worthy of friendshio".

    I used to have a pal back in college days, then her dad sent her overseas for further studies. They did a farewell party and i wasn't invited so i wasn't aware!!! But i just happened to pass by to collect my books and saw the party arrangements....she was sooo shy...i didn't really care i just took my books and left.

    A few weeks later it was her birthday, i sent her an email to wish her a great birthday she never replied so i was like "whatever i don't need you looser".....

    She came back to the country 3 years later and started looking for me through my relatives....i never gave her the time....

    Now it has been 10 years she still keeps tyring to find me. By accident last week i saw her in a shop, she has grown sooo fat and ugly....aaarrrrgh blew my day off.

    In short if they decide to diss you, just erase them completely from your life. They are not worthy of your quality time and friendship.

     
  • At August 01, 2009 1:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    why is there such a system.. its like the ones you are expecting the most from, are the ones who normally hurt you the most?

    the one u are nice too normally wont be nice to you, but the one you are not so nice to, will actually be the one nicer to you. why?

     
  • At August 13, 2009 1:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is so true. I am currently hurting so much from my friends whom i've known for over 15 years. Suddenly just stopped asking me to hang out, including me in outings etc.. it really hurts and i have no idea why. But reality is that she's just a effing bitch and see what life brings for her and them.

     
  • At August 14, 2009 12:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I agree with this last comment, I have a friend of 13 years. I've always been there for her and now that I'm close to getting married every time I ask her to go with me somewhere she has other plans. Then came a moment when she told me she felt like she hasn't done anything for my wedding and she feels bad. But then stops talking to me for days, I don't know what to do, it hurts me a lot. Last night I couldn't sleep and today I'm here at work and my heart just pumps really fast and I don't know what I did to her. :-( She has other friends whom she does make time for them...

     
  • At August 31, 2009 6:42 AM, Anonymous Ophelia said…

    You do your best for that person, you help them, you listen to their problems, you are there for them when they need you - and how do they chose to express their gratitude and honour your friendship? Well, they say nasty things to you, ignore all you did for them, are never there when YOU need to talk about your problems and quite honestly behave like absolute tw**s!

    This is not friendship. - If it's not, why do I feel so hurt..? My best friend...ha..so-called I realise now

     
  • At October 13, 2009 5:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i am going through a friend problem too, we been mates for 9 yrs and her partner told me something, n i told my mate but her partner denied it, so my mate thinks i'm lying, what makes it worse is that her partners sister is backing mates partner too. ive been labelled as a liar. n i apparently need to get my head sorted. i been there for my friend for 9 long years, given up my life in order to make her life more easy n this is the payback i get. friends eh, one thing tho, i'll never trust anyone to get close to me as my mate did. the pain of losing our friendship has become so painful. it feels like i'm grieving. i cant eat, cant sleep. ppl do say friends r for life but lover comes n goes, thats why lovers r easier to get go then friends.

     
  • At February 19, 2010 1:16 PM, Blogger Lexan said…

    My life lesson for 2009, never allow someone to be your priority, while you are their option.

     
  • At March 10, 2010 9:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    dude. ur a dude??

     
  • At May 10, 2010 4:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think it comes from a few reasons. The first reason is that most people can't see themselves for who they really are. Lets take for example a friend that always ditches you, in their mind they never appear to ditch you because they are not self aware enough, people who are self aware have a great skill in life and are usually better people as they realise what it's like to be hurt so they treat others as they would want to be treated.

    The second... since the beginning of time, our ancestors burned witches for no reason, tortured others in many ways, stole, lied, huge wars etc. It goes on and on. I still think these instincts are in us but they come out without some people knowing in a more social and intelligent way. Our past leaders after all were crazy and the had huge kingdoms.

     
  • At May 10, 2010 5:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have a theory. I think maybe it's like a wolf pack. The top wolf yaps and bites and does whatever he wants cause he's bigger, can walk over the rest. He eats first. It then goes down the ladder to the weakest wolf, the weak wolf might not want to fight, it might not want to yap, it might not want to hurt it's pack as much.

    That lowest wolf might not survive because it's not eating etc. I think we have instincts from way back in the caveman days that do the same.

    I noticed that the better you treat a person, the worse they'll treat you.

     
  • At July 05, 2010 4:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    yah well, tomorrow is my b-day and last night i was txting my best friend and asked her if she could spend the night on my b-day. she told me she would txt me today and tell me if she could or not. so here i am at 6:00 p0m still waiting for that txt... i have tried everything possible to get a hold of her but she just wont answer! this might be crazy but io havent seen her in like 3 months and i miss her... i have been the bestest friend to her out of all her friends and nothing... can anyone tell me what to do before at least 10:00 tonight?

     
  • At August 21, 2010 4:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I had a best friend once, and I haven't really had one since we 'broke up' so to speak. That was 5 years ago, and we were in boarding school. We shared a dorm pretty much from the age of 10 through 15/16 and we were inseparable - we were the weirdos that no one wanted to befriend, but we didn't need them because we had each other. It was all good and well until she started to find an interest in boys... it would probably be easier to list this stuff out.

    1. We both fell in love with the same guy, I told her how I felt about him, but she failed to mention that they were actually dating and continued to let me embarrass myself and slowly cut myself out of the friendship.

    2. She broke up with him and he wound up kissing me (my first kiss btw). Well she found out and that was all my fault, and nothing to do with him apparently because she took him back and proceeded to bully me and turn every single person in our class against me like I was a piece of trash. Although she was cunning, and acted like there was nothing wrong and I was just being irrational, even though I wasn't invited on the weekend trips with her new friends - the selfproclaimed 'posse'.

    3. After 6months, we finally had it out, and all was forgiven. I took her back - stupidly.

    4. She breaks up with guy number 1 and starts dating guy number 2... who is 29 (she was 16) ... she quits showing up to school, won't return my phonecalls, and basically disappears. Then one day, she shows up, with her mom, but ignores me. I was so excited to see her, I had missed her so much, but her mom stopped me from going after her and accused me of bullying her into quitting school and tells me they're packing up her stuff and she's never coming back. So I sneak into the dorms and confront her to ask what is going on, and she admits to me that she's lied to her mom for months, telling her that I was bullying her so badly that she never wanted to go back to school. She vanishes for a year.

    5. One day she calls me, and invites her to her house for the weekend. The night after I arrive, her mom kicks me out and they both accuse me of doing drugs and tell me I need medical help. I sleep at the train station that night because I have no where else to go. Oh yeah, that night was my birthday.

    Her actions still haunt me today, it still upsets me to know that there are people out there who are so cruel.

     
  • At September 05, 2010 10:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have a friend...whom I really care about a lot...we both share loads of views..and feelings about many things...I feel really good when I talk to him...but ever since I told him that I care a lot about him as a friend...he has started behaving very rudely,, he kept hurting me with his comments...:(..I feel so horrible,,,how can friends hurt this bad..

     
  • At December 10, 2010 5:40 AM, Blogger Esha said…

    avantika was my best friend we always share our thoughts and girl
    named shramana always told me bad things about avantika,a few days later avantika and shramana became friends and talked rudley with me
    i was very sad i said sit with me avantika and she told no and went to shramana they were discussing bad things about me i had no friends and i left everything and cried another day i got a friend omshree but she also hurt me and left me till now i have no friends why do friends hurt us????its my question

     
  • At January 05, 2011 1:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have a gang of friends..nearly 8 of them..that includes me indirectly! One day, two of my close friends of that gang were absent and i had to ask another gurl to message them and ask where they were..
    These gurls come together by train..so i thought it would be appropriate to ask her to message them.. They didn't reply at all.!
    The gurl to whom i askd later tells me not to mingle with those gurls coz they are trying to ignore you!!.. I got stunned and then, the next day when my friends came to the college, i found that they were seriously ignoring me.! i asked them why they were ignoring me and they could seriously not give an answer to that.!!!
    They asked if that gurl told anything wrong about us.. I said, yes! they said u ppl were trying to ignore me and not to mingle wid u two.!!
    They both asked that gurl and that gurl, when i was not there, just turned the entire story upside down.! she said she neva told anythin of tat sort.. Nw, none of the gurls of that gang is talkin to me well versed.. And, the friends i considered very close are themselves hurting me knowingly or unknowingly..
    I even told them that they are ignoring me and thats a lot hurting.! They deny! The main thing is, they are really good friends if they treat the opposite party as a friend.
    Even though i din commit any mistake, I am punished.! I want them to be my friends.! What am i supposed to do? I even tried apologizing to them for a mistake that was not at all commited.
    What am i supposed to be doing? I am a little disturbed about this issue. The only thing i can trust is that, the truth will come out one day.!!!

     
  • At March 09, 2011 3:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I understand how you feel.
    Just of few days ago my friends were excluding me from everything they were doing. I know its not cuz they dont care its becuase they took it as some kind of "game"
    I was aparently supposed to sit in a corner since i was "bad".
    While they were having fun dissing me and all that, they thought i wasn't getting hurt either
    The thought it was just in the fun of it. Well I can tell you i felt hurt. And i didn't have the guts or know how to tell them to stop. It was 5 of them and only one of me.And one of them i knew wouldn't stop for sure even if I told that certain individual it hurt. I knew that if I rebelled from sitting in the corner, it was going to be even worse the next day. I dont want to loose my friends cause they're good people but I don't wanna play this "game" anymore. what should I do? And btw they would listen if i stop them.

     
  • At April 23, 2011 2:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I've been hurt by a so called "friend" all the time. It's like i'm being hurt by an cheating boyfriend, and I keep going back. I was hurt by a friend everyday until she totally didn't care about me. She was using me whenever she coudn't find a better friend than me. However, I was thrilled with her friendship, so thats why I kept going back.At the moment, we are in a HUGE fight, and i'm finally breaking out of her control.Now, shes begging me to come back, but I keep saying no, because I don't wanna get hurt again:'(

     
  • At September 19, 2011 8:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have been hurt by persons who I called friends.They used me for over 6 months. There was this girl who was very close to me she asked me for money and I gave her. In return she stabbed me in the back. There was also this other girl who was my best friend who is no longer my best friend, now she is just my classmate. She found new friends.Those girls like to talk bad things whenever I turn my back.To me all the people I have met and called friends they just used me and moved on with their lives.I have learnt more about friendship that I should have taken time to know people.You should never put total trust in human beings.

     
  • At December 12, 2011 7:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    my friend said that im ur best buddy but after some time she hurted me by saying u were my worst friend im now totally broken

     
  • At January 08, 2012 11:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My best male frnd for almost 15 yrs old broke my trust..he was one of the best thing that has ever happened to me..we shared minute details of each others lives..my ex's, his ex's..crushes...everything...but just came to know he was just using me for the reasons best known to him...wen confronted he had no answers to my question...i still want to ask the same question..Y...y me ?

     
  • At May 05, 2012 3:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    So true. Im only 12 and my so called friends bring me down and a avoid me all the time. Im a major athletic person and now i dont even want to play with them anymore. it has been constant-- the first day theyre my bffs and the next they wont even talk to me LITERALLY!! i go to sleep at night worrying if they 'll be my friend the next day. i used to be in the clique and they like figuratively kicked me out and replaced me. when i used to believe she was really my friend which i dont know how i did i told her EVERYTHING and she would turn around and tell her BFF which just came to my school and by the way I knew her first. And that girl got all the attention , respect and whatever else. my other friends already have friends.. so im kinda alone.. any suggestions on what I should do?!? please answer!!

     
  • At May 05, 2012 3:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Omg i understan what your are going through and you might think i dont but i do its depressing

     
  • At September 20, 2012 9:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    my best friend, invited me to go to her house this weekend (we hang out every weeend) and i am sick so i told her that i couldnt go. but when i told her she was just like'' welp i will just invite someone else'' wich is not like her at all. and after that she continued not to act like herself, she was being sorta....mean. well, she is initing someone else (wich bothers me a little) but its someone that she dosnt like!! she has told me repeatedly ''ugh i jsut cant stand ______ she makes me so mad'' BUT NOW SHES INVITING HER TO HER HOUSE?! and my best friend is kinda self centered, like we will be talking about a boy just outa the random and she will be like '' he likes me'' and im like how do u know?! and shes just like because he talked to me in the hallway. and im just like what?! or shell be like ( and out nowhere) ''i have a big butt'' and im like no....u dont,its normal sized stop saying that!!!

    its just i get tired of it sometimes and it makes me mad. please help! :'(

     
  • At March 11, 2013 10:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Im having this kind of problem right now. You see, im a selfless person. too selfless. i can do a lot of things just for the sake of my friends but think twice to help myself. but of course, indirectly, this leads me to i expect people to treat me equally. im currently being the spare-friend to this one person. she went looking for me through hard times but ditch me when she is with her other friend. the other friend used to do bad things to her but now they r okay. n now, im the one who's hurt bcos i cant control the feeling of enjoying this friendship but being hurt most of the time. i just want to let go. if she think im just a spare-friend. help me. im a person who cherish friendship too much n its killing me right now.

     
  • At February 06, 2014 1:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    my situation was a friend that was put into a position that said if you are friends with her, then I will no longer be a friend to you. She then made the choice of throwing me away like a piece of trash. This friend, that made her choose has hurt her over and over again and I have always been there to pick up the pieces. I can not believe how easy it was for her to toss me out like a piece of trash. I guess I was she wasn't as good as a friend as I thought. :(

     
  • At November 06, 2014 7:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I can completely agree with this. I met what used to be my friend in 5th grade. She was very sweet, and then, as if someone hit a switch, she stabbed everyone who cared about her in the back. She now hangs out with me ONLY if none of her other friends can hangout. I've talked to her multiple times, but she always tells me how amazing she is and the few small nice things she throws into my life every couple years. I don't know what to do anymore. I try to just stop being friends with her, but it never works. Please, someone tell me what I should do.

     

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